1 year

Charlie.

Exactly 1 year ago, I stewed over the fact that I hadn't felt any movement in my womb for 1 1/2 days. At around 4 in the afternoon, I told Ben we needed to see the doctor. He called for an emergency appointment, called for a cab and we left.

At the dr's, she gave me an ultrasound and found everything to be normal. 'however', she said, 'sometimes the mother knows'.

Outside the dr's office, we stood asking ourselves if we were just being paranoid. Perhaps we should just go home, but we surprised ourselves by asking the cab driver to take us to the hospital.

Laying down and listening to the baby's heartbeat, a little relieved to hear that things seemed to be normal, Ben & I talked...until, we noticed a dramatic change. We looked at the screen, baby's heartbeat fell from 150 to 55. This happened twice within 2 or so minutes.

Within that time, the nurse on duty was scrambling, yelling over the phone, running around, stripping me of my clothes and whisking me away to who knows where. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to Ben before I knew where they were taking me. Operating room, needles, face mask, nothing.

It makes me cry to remember, but I hear giggles now in the background as Charlie laughs at his image in a mirror. This is and will always be my holiday miracle.

We are celebrating tonight!!